Harry Potter Drabbles
by RedHeadedWoman91
Summary: Series of drabbles about our lovely magical universe and the incredible characters of the incredible J.K.R... all one-shots unless requested... please R&R... no pairings unless stated in books or if i really want to explore... ENJOY!
1. Who I Wanted To Be

He didn't understand any of it. How could they despise him so much when he was so small and vulnerable? They were his family, his protectors, and they mistreated him. He had been a baby when he was taken to them and it wasn't his fault, not really.

_They lied to me. Car crash? Murdered more like. The lie made understanding worse. Not that I ever said anything to anyone. _

They locked him in a cupboard for most of his life. He only got a proper room because they were petrified of what might happen should those who had his safety in mind find out. But they had known all along. Or at least one of them had. But he had done nothing.

_He never helped me even though he knew what they were doing to me. I hate him for that but I think I understand that. Maybe…_

He was healthy when he arrived at school. And that was all they could ask for. That was healthy and breathing. He wasn't happy but he was alive. Many believed he would never make it through his first year there.

_That first year, good and yet bad. Thankfully though the good vastly outweighed the bad. I began to understand._

He got friends, allies, mentors, enemies. All in one year. But he went home happy. And stayed that way. For a while at least. His second year was no better. Facing evil and death, horror and peril. He faced and defeated _him _again. He saved his first life.

_I understood why _he _was feared so much. _He _was horrible but, strangely, I felt fear only for her. She couldn't fight _him _but I could. I didn't understand why._

The years kept getting worse. He faced trouble at every turn and though he had help, he was lonely. He needed someone to care for him for a change. But he couldn't see the truth. People did care for him. But fear and hatred blinded him. Both feelings were directed at the same being. The being that had destroyed his life, took his parents, took his godfather, took his competitor, took his freedom. He would make _him _pay.

_I don't like killing. I don't like the thought of taking another's life. But I would take _his _gladly. Because of everything _he _had taken. I understood._

When it didn't seem as though it could get any worse, _he _took his mentor. Not personally but it was close enough. He would never get over it. Just he would never get over his godfather's death. It was too much for him to deal with. He couldn't just forget them and move on. It was impossible for him. Their deaths hurt him too much. And he refused to lose anyone else.

_I began to understand what a desire to kill felt like. And I didn't like the feeling. It was too much for me to bear. But I understood._

His decision to leave wasn't a surprise to his friends. It was expected. And they had always known that they would go with him, the brave things that they were. They fought, all friends do, but they always made up. Even if it sometimes took a little longer. They fought, bleed and grieved together. But he had always known that he had to face the last part on his own. With no help, no back-up, no one else's protection. Just the two of them.

_That was the only think that I had always completely understood. Fighting alone. It seemed right. I had always known and understood._

When the end finally came, the three grieved together, re-built together, and moved on together. They had the support of everyone else but their bond could not be broken by anyone. Not even their families. They stayed together. They became a family.

_I understood love totally. Love for my friends, for the girl I saved in second year, for my new family, for everyone who had fought and lived and died. I understood loss more than anything else. I learned to grieve openly, and along with others. I still shut myself off. But she pulled me through. My beautiful girl._

_I became alive. I became a human. A husband. An uncle. A father. A grandfather. I became who I wanted to be. _


	2. Sister's Share Everything Sometimes

**Sister's share everything…**

**That's what all the poems and sayings claimed anyway. But the sisters, one with brown hair, the other with red, never really, truly got along. No matter what they liked to say or believe. Sure they wanted to be close and both knew that they ought to be. But something held them back. **_**Their differences.**_

The elder with the brown hair was plain, simple and mean spirited. She was the oldest after all. The test run. First siblings around the world feel the same way at one point. She felt it every day. At first she had been the gifted princess, the only child. And she had loved. She had loved the idea of a little brother or sister. But it soon went south when she got no attention and so she became a… _bitch_. To get attention.

_The youngest with the red hair was beautiful, beyond smart, caring and kind. She was the youngest and so adored her big sister. Like all little sisters do. She followed her sister around and tried to be like her. But she wasn't. She was a witch and her sister wasn't. But she loved being a witch and hated the attention she got as the little sister. She tried, almost desperately, to push attention to the elder knowing how much pain she was in at being ignored. _

That was were the problems started. The younger being a witch and _all important. _The elder one was miffed to say the least. It just meant she got more attention and more love and more of everything. The only good thing was that for close to nine months the elder was an only child again. And she relished in it. Often suggesting that the younger not come back at all.

_The younger never listened to the suggestions. She simply wished that they got along like all other sisters. They should have and would've if they'd had anything in common. But somehow they'd ended up being polar opposites. One outgoing and popular, the other bookish and mostly shy (except when it came to a certain raven haired boy). She loved her sister dearly, and always would, but there was no way that they could get along._

The elder hadn't gone to the younger ones wedding. Out of spite and nothing else. She didn't even give a reason, simply sent the invitation back on the same day that it arrived at the Dursely household. She never regretted it. Not even when the younger ones friends had turned up on her doorstep demanding that she go. She'd refused point blank. She never thought about it after that.

_It had almost killed her when the invitation was sent back to their small London flat. No reason, no apology, nothing. He had told her not to worry. And she'd tried. But when the day of the wedding dawned she refused to get up until her sister was there to celebrate with her. His friends, the canines, had come and forcibly pulled her to her feet and made her get ready. They were sympathetic, but they knew better. They'd gone to see the elder one. Her husband held her while she sobbed that night. _

When the baby arrived on her doorstep, she'd truly wanted to hurl it into the ocean or down the storm drain. It would be like her. She knew it. Its eyes were the same colour. The letter explained that her sister was dead. She received a notification about the funeral but she didn't go. They weren't sisters, they had never been sisters.

_She watched from Heaven as her sister destroyed her baby by feeding it lies and forcing it to live in the cupboard under the stairs. Her sister hurt her boy and for the first time she actually hated her big sister. She hadn't even hated her when she didn't go to her wedding but mistreating her son was different. It was fatal and heart wrenching. She was glad that she wasn't alive otherwise she would have killed her sister._

Sister's share everything… sometimes… 


	3. A Reason Why

"Why don't you believe Harry?" Seamus looked up from _The Daily Prophet _and studied his best friend closely. Dean was sitting up in his bed, with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders in an attempt to fight the cold. The other boys in the dorm were fast asleep but Dean still whispered the question.

"Why do you believe him?" Seamus watched as Dean frowned slightly and looked over at Harry's bed.

"Simple. Why would he lie about that?" Dean shrugged. Seamus honestly didn't know, but then again _The Prophet _wouldn't lie.

"Attention." Dean snorted.

"Yeah, right. As if the great Harry Potter needs _more _attention. Seamus mate, that's probably the last thing Harry wants, right behind being a giant hairy spider with one leg." Seamus sighed. Deep down Seamus knew that Dean was telling the truth. So why didn't he believe someone he'd known since they were eleven? Because _The Daily Prophet _said he was liar. Because his Mam said Harry was an attention-seeking liar. Because everyone said so. Except the teachers (who actually didn't comment), Granger, the Weasley clan, and his best mate who may as well be his brother.

"Well, night." Seamus merely grunted in reply. Once Dean's light snoring had filled the room, Seamus got up and sat down on the window seat overlooking the grounds. A bright full moon hung in the sky, in the distance Seamus could see dark shapes flying through the sky just past the Hogwarts gates. Assuming that the shapes were animals from the Forbidden Forest, Seamus cast them out of his mind and stared at the moon. He had always loved watching the moon as a child, but he hadn't done since coming to Hogwarts thinking that it was too childish. The Man in the Moon appeared to be sadder than he had used to. Seamus figured that it was simply because he wasn't in Ireland anymore. Seamus sighed and looked around at Harry's bed.

There was a reason that he didn't believe Harry. It was too painful for him or his mother to think that Voldemort could be back. In the last war, Death Eaters had attacked Seamus' mother's family. Ten people had been killed and those left behind had never recovered from the horror of the loss. And chances were they never would. Seamus had known the story his entire life and had been delighted to meet Harry Potter in his first year. He had never said anything to Harry because he didn't want anyone to know about his family's loss, but he had been so happy to be friends with the boy who had destroyed the man (_Or thing_) that was responsible for the deaths of his own family members. For that man to now be back was too much for the Finnegan family. Too painful.

The moon hung in the sky, moving very slowly across the dark sky, and Seamus continued to watch the shapes flying around near the school…

Seamus understood why his mother hadn't wanted him to return to Hogwarts. She was scared of the possible implications of Harry's story if he were right. Everyone was deep down. But their were those who were doing something about that fear. Dean joining the "D.A", for example. Seamus was proud of his essentially Muggle-born friend doing something like that, but truth was, Seamus himself was too scared too join. What would happen if people found out? What would happen to him? What would happen to his Mam?

The bright moon had moved all but a few centimeters and the shapes outside the school began attempting to get inside the barrier protecting the school and it's students…

Seamus was a smart lad and he knew that there were consequences for everything. He had learnt very early on in his life that he should think before acting and speaking. And he did. There was nothing he didn't do without thinking it through thoroughly first. It was a much better way of doing things, even if other teenage boys didn't do the same thing. It didn't matter. His Mam had taught him to think and he'd be damned if he didn't.

Seamus buried his face in his hands when his eyes began to sting from un-shed moisture. He was _bloody Irish! _They _didn't _cry! He breathed deeply and slowly, calming himself down. There was no point in getting worked up over everything. That would only make him act irrationally. He had to stay strong for Mam… who wasn't there to see him… Seamus' head sprang up and he stared out the window as the realisation finally hit him. If he were to stay strong for Mam then the best thing he could do was to join the D.A and learn how to fight, to protect himself, to protect those he cared about. It was simple and his Mam didn't have to know. It wasn't irrational, it was the right thing to do. Seamus knew it.

The moon hung brightly and one of the shapes ran into the barrier that protected Hogwarts. With the impact came a shock through the barrier and a flash of light…

Seamus started back and saw the shape turn into a man momentarily before becoming a blob of smoke again. In that moment Seamus had seen that the man was dressed as a Death Eater. Seamus watched as the shapes, _men_, _Death Eaters_, flew away from the castle and Hogsmeade.

-_-_-_-_-

Seamus joined Dumbledore's Army after Christmas, and told his Mam that he was going to. The D.A was found that same night, but Seamus loved it. And he never looked back.


	4. Snape's Love

_"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"_

The words had come out of his mouth before he knew it. He glanced at Lily and saw the confusion on her face, quickly followed by hurt and then anger. He'd never hurt her before. Not even in the Slytherin common room when all the others had. She had looked him in the eye…

"_Fine. I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."_

There had been no hesitation in her voice or manner when she issued the insult, knowing it would hurt him. For a minute, he had ignored all else that was said between Lily and Potter. Never before in their friendship had either insulted the other, even in joking. They just didn't do it. They got enough of it from everyone else around them. They trusted each other absolutely and without question. But now he had ruined it. With a simple sentence. The word _mudblood _didn't bother her anymore, he knew it only had because he had been the one to say it to her. The one who had explained the meaning behind it and why it was an insult. Lily had never understood that, not truly anyway.

The humiliation that Potter had decided to bestow upon him that day had been nothing compared with the humiliation he had brought on himself. He was literally patted on the back for finally calling Lily that hated name, and he hated all of it. He knew who he was and what he would become, but he had always maintained that Lily would never got hurt in the process. And he had failed. Bellatrix had told him that he would "see the light" and she was right. With one look from Lily his world had crumbled. He had ceased being himself, he became something darker, but the love he held for his childhood friend, Lily Evans, never faltered. Not once.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I'm not interested."_

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_Save your breath. I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."_

"_I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just…"_

"_Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious Death Eater friends – you see, you don't deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."_

"_No – listen, I didn't mean…"_

"… _to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"_

Lily had left him at that point and returned to the Gryffindor common room. He had never told her the truth about how he felt. He couldn't. How do you tell your best friend that your are utterly devoted to them and love them more than anything else? He thought it would be better if she thought them friends and nothing more. It was easy to lie to her about things. She was naïve, despite what she said. But she could see through people's lies when she wanted to. Lily had known all along what he was going to do, what he wanted to do, what he and his friends were slowly achieving by that point. In their fifth year, he and his friends had made themselves known to the Dark Lord through several previous Slytherins, including Lucius Malfoy.

Lily hadn't spoken to him since that night. She ignored all his attempts to speak and make things better. In truth, he couldn't blame her. The love he had for Lily was… unquestionable but wrong. There had never been any hope of them being together, and he had known it but ignored it. He harbored a hopeless hope and a secret desire. He had always seen Lily as a beautiful, intelligent, funny, brave and loyal girl and he wanted her to see him as something more then a friend and a shoulder to lean on. But she never had. Especially after he used that hated word against her.

He had inevitably joined the ranks of the Death Eaters and over the years worked his way up the ladder until Lord Voldemort trusted him above all others. He had murdered and tortured his way up in the obscene hope of getting revenge on Potter and making Lily realise the mistake she'd made and make her turn to him. Deep down he knew that Lily would never, ever leave Potter for him, even if he were to die. She was loyal and would follow Potter to the ends of the earth, despite hating him for much of their time at Hogwarts. He had worked his up the ladder so high that Voldemort sent him to discover the prophecy and spy on Dumbledore. When Voldemort had announced that James and Lily Potter along with their son Harry were to be killed, he had gone straight to Dumbledore and begged him to protect them.

"_Gone… dead…"_

"_Is this remorse, Severus?"_

"_I wish… I wish _I_ were dead…"_

"_And what use would that be to anyone? If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."_

"_What – what do you mean?"_

"_You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son." _

And he had. He had helped to protect Lily's son. The son that looked exactly like Potter but had Lily's eyes. He had done everything in his power to help protect Harry and he had hated looking at him. When he first laid eyes on Potter in his first year he could have sworn that he was looking at the eleven year old James Potter. And then he saw the eyes. Bright green and almond shaped. _Lily's_ bright green, almond shaped eyes.

He had loved Lily from a far since their innocent childhood days before other witches and wizards had gotten involved in their little world. He had loved Lily as friends when other witches and wizards and their petty issues had gotten involved. He had loved Lily from a far after the hated word had slipped from his lips and since the world had gotten darker and their private little world shrunk by one when she left. He had loved Lily even when he saw her fighting his "friends" in the battlefield. He had loved Lily when they had fought on the battlefield without her realising. He had loved Lily after her death. He had loved Lily right up until he looked into her son's eyes and breathed his last.


End file.
